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Search the history of over 769 billion web pageson the Internet. When it comes to wifey, it seems, chickens will not do at all. Even though the multi-millionaire mogul/pop star can more than provide, he's not checking for providing chickens with a life of leisure. "Don't get me wrong," he explains, "I want to provide for my woman, but at the same I want a woman that's ambitious. A motivator, one that's going to make the team stronger. "I never thought I could be that girl but all of a sudden I found myself obsessing about everything. Every day it was like, 'Am I thin enough? Are my titties too small? Is my ass too big? Is my hair too short? Am I too light? Am I light enough?' It was ridiculous. It's a competition you can't possibly win." "I'm strong enough and old enough to see that when it comes to getting what I want from men I don't have to be right all the time," she explains.
And when you tell a brother you won't even let him pay for a meal, it's like you don't want to be vulnerable at all. Still, there are plenty of times when those liberated principles get conveniently played to the left. Unfortunately, my mother's well-intentioned, egalitarian approach to dating didn't translate well into the adult, post-college world. Even though the values are intact -- I still enjoy treating a brother to dinner or surprising him with a home-cooked meal -- I gave up the "Dutch" habit long ago.
Reading Group Guide
Her labeling this text as feminist is feigning to the mission of feminism and misleading to young women and people that stumble upon this book without having fully-formed their politics thinking this book could be a germane guide in their respective foundations. Still fresh, funny, and irreverent after eighteen years, When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost gives voice to the most intimate thoughts of the post-Civil Rights, post-feminist, post-soul generation. Martine Bury Jane It's a bold, cheeky, self-affirming read, and for black women in this society, there's hardly enough affirmation.
It felt like listening to an older aunt or sister and relating to them personally but then you realize that the depth of what you’re seeking from the conversation isn’t going to come. This book lacks depth, analysis, and theory which ultimately made me unlike it. Morgan writes in the afterword that she specifically wanted to stay away from theory and academic jargon for its accessibility but how do you write a book on black feminism without analysis? It comes across as as one long slightly “hotep-tress” op-ed that tends to shame women for the failures of patriarchy… the babymother chapter almost made me sick to my stomach. Like it’s Black womens fault for being thrust into the throes of single parenthood?
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When a parent chooses to not provide financial and emotional support-to me that is essentially giving up parental rights. It takes communication to make a relationship work and behavior is part of communication, whether that will ever be acknowledged is another story. When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost is a hardcore dose of post-feminist funk -- written for the post-civil rights, post-feminist, post-soul children of hip-hop. Doing away with the tired victim/oppressor models that often dominate contemporary feminist discourse, this revolutionary book speaks to a generation of women for whom the issues of gender, sex, race, love and relationships are not simple black-and-white terms. I'm not going to say it belongs with the works of bell hooks or Audre Lorde as some great polemic of black feminist/womanist thought, it definitely sits in the pantheon of books by Black women about feminism/womanism for them in their experience.
It's really a shame because there is not enough feminist scholarship on hip hop so I was looking forward to that perspective. It reeks of heteronormativity, anti-sex work, elitism, classism, pro-capitalism, and at times, leaving a ton of patriarchy burden on women. I found the 'baby mother' chapter filled with assumptions and personal opinions about the black family, motherhood, and parenting.
When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost: A Hip-Hop Feminest Breaks It Down
Cleared payment cleared payment - opens in a new window or tab. Plus, receive recommendations and exclusive offers on all of your favorite books and authors from Simon & Schuster. I definitely see how my 20-something self would have loved this book but my 30-something self would interrogate and disagree with it a lot. Because this is getting way too long, I'll stop here.
Since he made almost three times my salary, my "feminist" mind had trouble processing his actions as anything but cheap. Hypocritical as it was, the sight of him calculating the bill had the undesirable effect of waterhosing my libido. He does caution, however, that a brother's desire for success in not necessarily indicative of his confidence level. "There are a lot of insecurities that come with trying to succeed. There's an intense amount of pressure to make it. Some brothers may seem like they have a lot of confidence, but sometimes it's just not real." The point was driven home one night by this cutie in San Francisco.
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His answer brings back BethAnn's parting words to me that fateful day she talked me through my Chickenhead Envy. It just takes the men we love a little longer to realize how much they love us. We have the luxury of choosing both our battles and our artillery. We know that sometimes winning requires utilizing whatever confrontational measures are necessary. We're not afraid of lawsuits, boycotts, organized protests, or giving a deserving offender a good cussing out.
But we also recognize that there are times when winning requires a lighter touch. And sometimes a short skirt and a bat of the eyes is not only easier but infinitely more effective. Still, Jacobs maintains it's not all about the men. He attributes a lot of brothers' inability to flow under those circumstances to what he perceives to be most women's materialism. From his experience, a sista's claim to be satisfied with "a quality guy with good morals, upbringing, and potential" is usually "bullshit." Complicating these feelings of insecurity are male competition and ego.
Thanks to her, I escaped much of the sexual pressure that plagued many of my peers. For some girls, the deciding factor for whether or not a guy deserved the boots was how much he spent on the courtship process. Unfortunately, the decisions weren't always based on the woman's desires. Very often the more money a guy spent the more he felt he was entitled sexually -- and he applied pressure accordingly. Sadly enough, many women complied -- not because they wanted to have sex but because they felt that was the price they paid for someone treating them nicely.
This chapter is built up to convince the reader that good girls finish last but there's an about face at the end with it being said wait on Prince Charming to learn that he needs a "good girl" not a chickenhead". Sigh. I found more relevant to MY life in this 'hip hop feminism' than the loads of feminist theory treatise i read in college. I appreciated that JM kept the focus on how raising a woman's 'place' to of equal value as a man's to the interpersonal, daily what-can-be-going-down between me-and-him.
In otherwords, it never gets so abstract that it loses personal relevance. Reading this book is not so much like learning or studying Black feminism in the era of hip hop, with a culture and climate steeped in bold misogyny wrapped in a tight flow over a fly beat. It's more like listening in on your older cousin and her girlfriends discuss life in the 90s as 20 or 30-somethings, trying to find their way as women with obstacles that their foremothers couldn't have blueprinted even if they tried.
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Sexism is one instance where it's virtually impossible to dismantle the master's house with the master's tools. No matter how well women think they've mastered the game, they're still playing by somebody else's rules. And when it comes to women and sex, the old double standards are still very much in effect. Finally, for the sake of her sanity, she decided to cut him loose. As liberated women we may revel in our ability to pay our own way but we're not likely to fall for the men who let us. The one boyfriend I had who actually took the "feminist" approach of splitting all our dating expenses -- everything from the movies to vacations -- squarely down the middle, couldn't win for trying.
Politics is personal and trying to separate the two is futile. As a single parent, I don't lament being single as a curse on my son's future. Statistics may be math, but I think there's room to question as numbers can be manipulated to prove a point.
